Chris De Burgh (or: Be Afraid)

I have unwittingly stumbled upon the official Chris De Burgh website.

And fuck me, it’s brilliant. Let’s not forget that Chris de Burgh is a third rate singer songwriter who, if making a cheap, made for TV movie about the devil, would be your first choice in the leading role. Yet his website builds him up as a king! My favourite part is the “Friends of Chris de Burgh” page, which is like a guestbook, but better because people have left photos of themselves. Two people are obviously taking the piss though as I can’t believe that they look that much like Bez and a very young Eric Idle. But just for the veritable freak show, I implore you to have a gander. You know you want to.

To demonstrate the sheer madness (not to mention inappropriateness) of Mr De Burgh’s website, I have included a question from the “Ask Chris” section. Proof indeed that answers sometimes just lead to more questions.

January 6, 2005

Anna Dolgikh (24) from Moscow, Russia:

Hi Chris! Thank you for your wonderful songs! Your last album is really exciting! Hope one day I’ll hear you singing your new songs in Moscow! Chris, I have got a question that really concerns me greatly. How should parents bring up their child in order to make him strong and happy? I’ve seen two major approaches. The first one is when the parents try to protect their child from the problems of this “big world” around him. They try themselves to deal with difficulties their child face with and save him from pain and tears. The second one is to let the child resolve his problems himself (except very complicated, perhaps). My Dad considers this approach to be right assuming that the child should learn how to survive in this “big world” without help and should be able to overcome difficulties and build relationships himself. The most interesting fact that I’ve noticed that even when the parents try to combine two approaches one of them anyway will prevail. Chris, what approach is closer to you?

Chris de Burgh:

This question is one of the most difficult questions to answer for any parent. And there is no actual answer. It all depends on a number of environmental questions like “Where do you live?”, “Who else is in your family?”, “Are your mother and father in the home?”, “Do you get on with your mother and father?”, “What are your hopes and dreams for yourself and for your family?”. It’s a question that has dominated human thinking ever since time began: “What is the best way to raise your children?” Well, I think the first thing to consider is that there have been times when parents have ruled their children through fear and not love. Notably I would say in the Victorian era in English history. Not all parents of course, but there is an old rule which was used at the time: Children should be seen, but not heard. You can’t stop children developing, but I think that you must always be encouraging to your child to develop and grow and try things out. But be there for them almost like an invisible wall. When they go that little bit too far, at least they know you are there. Even just today I was hearing about a family that grew up, where they had no rules. It was a very Bohemian, relaxed, easy-going atmosphere, where the girls in the family had their boyfriends stay overnight in their beds and all. And it did not work for this family. In fact, it was a catastrophe. One of the girls committed suicide. The other was a drug addict. Children do need rules, and they do need help, they need encouragement. I certainly don’t have the answer, Anna, but with my children I am aware that as they grow through their teen years, the relationship with their parents changes. You must always shift and change. It is nothing cast in stone. You must always change, preshape their changes, understand their moods, understand why they are changing. And as you see, even my short answer, I think it presents more questions than answers. The protection against the big world? Well, that is a natural thing that parents try to do. But then again, if you are too protective of your children, when they finally get into the big world, it is a dreadful shock. They shouldn’t be too streetwise, they should be a bit streetwise. Again, it depends on where you live and how you live. I must say, I would not be drawn to the second one that you are referring to, about a child having to fight the fight all on its own. I think you should allow the child to resolve their own problems on their own, but you should always be beside them in case they need you. It’s like going with your child, climbing a tree. You know, you don’t just send your child out and say “climb every tree in the garden”, you just go out with them and say “Try that one! No, that might be a big high for you, try this one! Careful that you don’t fall! Oh, well done, you went up that one all by yourself.” That’s what I call encouragement, but being there for them, when you feel that they need your advise and company. And being aware all the time of the shifting sense of change as children grow up. And as parents change as well! I hope this helps you a little bit, but it is a complicated problem.

What the fuck?!

2 thoughts on “Chris De Burgh (or: Be Afraid)

  1. This is utterly astounding, this post!

    When I think of Chris de Burgh, 2 things spring to mind – the first is the Mighty Boosh, when they got one of their relatives to appear as Chris de Burgh in one of their episodes…

    ..the second is my mother, bless her, who seemed a somewhat avid Chris de Burgh fan (owning 3+ albums of his) until she damned him to hell for cheating on his wife with his nanny. This was over 15 years ago and she doesn’t appear to have forgiven him yet.

    I listen to ‘A spaceman came travelling’ every Christmas XD

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